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^^^^^^^^^^^NEW XANGA^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

        It's been two days, probably the hardest two days of my life. Lost a friend... lost a man that meant alot to me..and it wasn't even the relationship with him, because (whatever), but I lost his friendship.. that was the worst. What I told him however, was a lie. But in doing that I never meant to hurt him.>.< I hurt him. It wasn't exactly A joke either. I had thought he might had been cheating on me.. the distance between us left anything open. But I started to notice that he looked down alot more often while around me.. and I asked what was wrong. But he never said anything. I wish he would have. He didn't want to continue it either way.. but it hurt thinking that he continued to say I love you.. all I want to know is did he mean it? Everytime I said that.. I meant.. watching him sleep, before he even knew I told him I loved him. I thought it be easier on him if I screwed up... so he didn't feel bad about dumping me.. and now I'm sure he feels quiet relieved. I faded in his eyes. Screwing up drove us somewhere I didn't want us to go, however, we are driving that path. I lost a good friend. I just hope he find someone somewhere down the road as wonderful as him.

      "Turing friendship into love is easy, turning love into friendship is hard"

*to you*
-If and when you ever are ready to talk, call.
-Even if we never speak again, I want you to know..you'll always be in my heart.

                                 But thank you for everything.

                     >My Final Entry<

(the change has been ordered.. if wished to be informed leave comment)

I don't know what to say. Other than it was all my fault. Trully. I screwed up. I'll pay for it. Everyday. But maybe it was for the better... he didn't want to be tied down, and I just screwed myself. I guess it easier to turn friendship into love.. but not love into friendship. Thats how its going to be. I just want to know why something wasn't said sooner. Love is seeing with the heart and not with the eyes. I'm not sure where either of us stood.

... I'm going to miss the kisses that meant everything..

v.v 

>the last song<

Currently Playing Dead and Dreaming By Dry Kill Logic see related

- Perfect Enemy

PUNCHLINE LYRICS

"Weekends"

Looking through my window up
At you in your doorway,
I can't believe this is happening.
Everynight we say goodbye
And everynight you almost cry,
But now it won't be everynight.
I can see you on the weekends,
but I'm not sure if that's enough.
And I pray we'll stay together,
But I don't think that we need luck.
Think of me when I am not around.

If seeing is believing,
Then I'm sure that this will work.
ICQ and AOL but it will still be hard at first.
No more calling you real early
Just to hear your voice.
Believe me that I love you,
But I have no other choice.
I'll see you when I can,
But it might be hard to get home.
And I promise you Christmas,
But the rest I just don't know.
Think of me when i am not around
One more time, losing my mind. Here I go again.
I'm sorry I could not be here for you all the time.

And then the last kiss goodbye you smile and wipe your tears away.
(I'll always love you) I know this will be hard but we'll be fine, call me at nine.

..such a awesome song...

im bored... someone help

Well what an exciting week it has been... the I <3 Justin t-shirts to me and that bitch in study hall getting into a fight.. Hanging out with *him* and just chillin and... *CHILLIN* somemore.. My abigial came back... you have no idea I had tears in my eyes.. I was soo happy to see her.. Shes Keeping the BABY!.. YAY!.. Im gonna be a aunt!.. woop woop...I can hardly WAIT!!...

             I talked to an old flame the other day.. even though the light is dimmed... he'll always hold that place in my heart... But he was such a fucking asshole..LOL...

                  ... i really didnt need that.

wow.. yeah... anyways fucking aol is soo gay.. I'm thinking about changing my xanga.. what do you think?

>leave comments to show you care<>and if you dont, leave one anyways<

                      >torn on the inside<